The Situation: So the year is now 2011 and there are not many men or women out here who do not have kids. So the odds of you not having to deal with baby mama or baby daddy drama are pretty much slim to none. There are some individuals who actually have a peaceful relationship with their ex...and then there are some that dread the thought of even communicationg with their ex. If you happen to come across someone who has a peaceful relationship with their kids mom/dad, there is really much drama you have to deal with. But if the connection between the two has fizzled and the lines of communication are obsalete, your relationship may experience a lot of tials and tribulations. So let's discuss the good, the bad and the real of dating someone with children.
The Good: Now, no matter what the situation is (drama or no drama) dating someone with kids can show you a lot about a person. It takes a great amount of commitment, love and dedication to be a good parent. Especially if you are dating a dad who has custody of their kids. The maternal instinct is not naturally there, but developed over time. If you plan on building a life with this person you definitely want to see signs of being a responsible parent. This is an important trait in a potential life partner.
The Bad: Ok, let's start with the drama-free relationship. No, you won't have to deal with the angry calls or a stressed out partner. But there will probably be a lingering thought in the back of your head. You know that infamous question "Are there still feelings there?" And this is when the problems start. Every phone call, birthday party, meeting and holiday will raise questions and doubts. Eventually this may be the down fall of your relationship.
Now on to that very common world full of drama. This is the hardest of the two to deal with. Everything may be going great between you and your mate, but the ongoing issues between them and their ex can change that very quickly. Hopefully you're dealing with a person who will not allow this drama to take a toll on your relationship. But being the bystander you can't help but to feel some sort of way about the emotional and financial hold this particular spiteful person has on your bf/gf. It's kind of hard to know that just one comment can change your partner's mood and mess up their whole day. And there is absolutely nothing you can do about it. Not to mention the possible threats that may come your way because of the successful relationship that you now have. All because they were unable to finish what they started. Again, more circumstances that could possibly be the end to your relationship.
The Real: No matter the type there are pros and cons. The success of your relationship is solely based on the maturity level and the effort being put forth. If you are dating someone with kids you ARE going to have to deal with something during the duration of the relationship. But if you and your partner have a clear understanding that you will not allow any outside factors to destroy what you are trying to build, you shouldn't have any issues. Communication is key and no stone should be left unturned when discussing the dynamic of that partnership. One thing that must be understood is: no matter what they are going to have to deal with their ex. And at the end of the day the only thing that REALLY matters is the peace of mind of the children. Don't be that new girlfriend or boyfriend that the kids think is driving a wedge between their parents. As long as you are dealing with someone who makes it known where you stand and leaves you with no doubts, you should know your role and play it accordingly.
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