The Situation: You're dealing with a person and they totally screw the relationship up. Whether it's by cheating, being disrespectful, or being physically, emotionally or verbally abusive; they messed it up. So you leave and vow never to look back up. You deal with the crying and distress. Along with the hour long conversations with your friends about how horrible your ex is and how if they even thought about trying to come back you would stop them dead in their tracks. And then the phone call comes....or maybe it's a surprise visit. Either way there they are begging for your forgiveness and finally admitting to all the wrong that they've done. You're still angry and heartbroken but here come the butterflies. And you start to remember why you fell in love with them in the first place. So after al ot of debating with yourself you decide to take them back.
The Good: I believe that people can change. It comes a point in almost every one's life when they realize that they've made a mistake and they do whatever they can to fix it. If this is the case, you've come across a good one. From this point on they will try their hardest to make sure they don't repeat the same idiotic behavior. They know you inside and out and can actually appreciate the wonderful person that you are. Being without you for that particular amount of time has shown them what life is like without you and since they came back you can pretty much rest assure knowing that their life is much more appealing with you in it.
The Bad: Now on the other hand you may have to come to the realization that you are dealing with a complete a-hole. Even though they came with an apology, that doesn't mean they meant it. You may be a crutch to them. Possessing something that they need for the moment to survive. And you will be "the one" until they find another "one" that is going to provide them with more and "nag" them less. This is a horrible situation to be in but I can't count how many times I've heard about it or actually gone through it myself. When this happens you actually hurt more than you did the first time. Now you have to deal with their continued abuse and disrespect, on top of beating yourself up because you are now right back where you vowed you would never be.
The Real: When dealing with matters of the heart you never really know what the outcome is going to be. All you can do is keep your eyes open and pay attention to all red flags. As women, we have a natural instinct to want to nurture our partners. If we feel that they're actions are because of past issues, we tend to give more love and ignore all signs of this person just being an inconsiderate and selfish person. Sometimes there is no underlying issues. Sometimes you just come across an egocentric person and you just have to accept them for who they are and move on. If you are thinking about giving someone a second chance, don't allow them to pressure you into making a decision right away. The ball is now in YOUR court. Allow them time to show you that they've changed. I always say actions speak louder than words. A person can tell you anything but if they really mean what they say it will show in how they speak to you and how they carry themselves. Second chances can be a blessing or they can be a downfall. No one can predict the future, but just by paying attention you can choice your fate of heartache or bliss.
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