The Situation: While having a conversation with a friend of mine yesterday and discussing some of the recent activities going on in my life. I realized that there must be something wrong. I've always believed that when things are continuously going wrong it's usually because there is something negative in your life blocking your blessings. I've always considered outside factors to be the cause of this. But after our hour long convo I discovered that sometimes it may just be you! And what I mean by that is as women we often put so much work into making sure you take care of all of the other aspects in your life (i.e. relationships, kids, work) and you forget to take time to make sure you are growing as a person. I know I've neglected a lot things when it comes to myself. I enjoy the feeling I get from nurturing my relationship. I find total happiness in knowing that my son is happy. But when it's all said and done and I'm sitting there by myself....I'm no longer happy. So what does this mean? That maybe the percentage of attention that I show to my man and my son and to myself is NOT equal. So how do you take care of your family and also devote more time to you without feeling like your neglecting one or the other?
The Good: When I look at the things that I have going for me right now of course I smile. I have a son that knows no matter what Mommy is here for him. That at the end of the day him and his happiness comes first to me. I also have a great boyfriend who without a doubt knows that I am completely devoted to him and I will do everything in my power to make sure he knows that he has a woman who is on his side no matter what. Yes, I have stopped doing things for me but my family knows that when push comes to shove they can count on me to be the woman in their lives that will continue to work hard to keep them happy.
The Bad: With all the above being stated, the bad of this situation is I'M NOT COMPLETELY HAPPY WITH MYSELF. I know that I have great qualities but I can't remember when the last time was that I actually did something for me. Whether it's going out to the club, a movie by myself or a girls night with close friends. And because of the stress that comes with this I tend to take out my frustrations on the people that are closest to me.
The Real: I need to get out. Women don't understand how much one night alone or with friends every couple of weeks can change your whole outlook on life and yourself. It helps you grow as woman, and it allows you surround yourself with women who are possibly battling the same battles. This recent discovery has been extremely refreshing. I spent almost the entire year of 2010 trying to figure out what it was in my life that was causing so many issues and so many sleepless nights. Now I know that even if you are mature when it comes to love or mature when it comes to motherhood, that means nothing if you don't take the time to mature as a WOMAN first.
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